Johanna Writes Madrid

Matching Set

Walking through Madrid´s Retiro Park on any given Sunday, it would be easy to think that you've stumbled into some sort of alternate universe where not only do all the children come in multiples, but the majority of them look as though they've just been plopped into 2010 by a time machine which has transported them directly from 1950.

You could also come to the conclusion that someone must be holding auditions for The Sound of Music nearby.

This is because in our part of Madrid, it is common practice for parents to dress their children identically on Sundays and then parade them around the neighborhood and park. They favor short pants (even in winter), knee socks and leather t-strap shoes (ala Christopher Robin) for the boys and for the girls, matching dresses, cardigans and sometimes even bonnets.

As you can imagine, my fellow expat friends and I take a great deal of delight in making fun of this bizarro practice. However, once I found myself the mother of two boys, I began to develop strange and disturbing urges... Urges to dress my boys EXACTLY THE SAME- OHHHH THE CUTENESS!!!!!

Naturally though, I can´t just march them through the streets of Madrid wearing matching outfits as that would expose me to merciless teasing by each and every one of my friends. Instead I must indulge my dark desires in secret, preferably at night. Thus, the pajamas. Are they not adorable?

Street Life

It has recently come to my attention that after six years, my days of living abroad may be numbered (or they may not, we don’t know yet but we will soon). I’ve already forgotten so many things about life in Japan and Switzerland, and I’m sure that the same thing will happen once we leave Spain. For that reason, I’ve decided to start writing some posts about cultural differences amongst all the places I’ve lived. Here is the first.

Street Life

New York City

Obviously there are plenty of homeless people in NYC and I’d guess that a majority suffer from some kind of addiction and/or mental illness. A lot of them would like you to give them money but in general I’ve always found them to be pretty low-key about it. They usually just plop themselves down on the sidewalk with a cardboard sign which provides any extra details they wish to give you as to why they need help. Some with a bit more get-up-and-go will travel the subways, giving well-rehearsed speeches about their plights, or singing for a bit of change. Of course there are plenty of ranters as well. However, they’re generally not asking for money but rather, just raving about something they’d really like you to know about (i.e. Jesus Christ, the evil symbolism of this year’s Macy’s Santa Claus´s belt buckle, etc.).

Tokyo, Japan

Relatively speaking, Tokyo has very few homeless people and during the three years I lived there, I was never once asked for a hand-out. I remember one park in Shibuya where several homeless people had made a small town for themselves out of cardboard boxes. What struck me the most was how outside several of the shelters, you could see pairs of shoes which the inhabitants had taken off before entering their boxes. There were also several brooms propped up beside the doors. One must have standards after all.

On the other hand, after 11 pm or so, the streets of Tokyo are absolutely teeming with drunk Japanese businessmen and office workers. These guys never ask you for money but they sometimes pinch your bottom or worse, throw up on your feet. Riding on the metro at that time of night is like being trapped inside an empty can of stale beer and the stations are full of warning signs depicting cartoon pictures of unsteady looking men in suits falling onto the train tracks. Oddly, this sort of behavior seems to be perfectly acceptable in Japan. This never seemed fair to me considering that walking around with an exposed bra strap is seen as utterly shameful.

Lausanne, Switzerland

Are there homeless people in Switzerland? I never saw one. There was a tidy little group of dope addicts who hung out near the entrance to the parking garage near the Place de la Riponne but that was really about it.

Madrid, Spain

The old center of Madrid is rife with all sorts of street life. There are pickpockets, gypsies, people with horrible deformities sitting on the sidewalks with signs asking for money, people who cover their bodies in silver paint and stand still for hours at a time and so on and so forth. My neighborhood is about 40 minutes walking from the center and we still have a fair number of local street characters. Most of them I see on a daily basis and am familiar enough with them that we’ll frequently exchange small talk about my kids, the weather etc.

There is one particular gypsy woman whose beat seems to unfortunately coincide with my daily routine. She always wears stripy socks and I really don't like her because she curses me (by this I mean she literally puts hexes on me as opposed to just telling me to fuck off) whenever I refuse to give her money. It doesn't seem to have occurred to her that cursing people  is probably not the best way to cement good relations for possible future donations.

On my street we also have several accordion players. They tend to adopt a certain location and then stick to it religiously (I often wonder about the intricacies of street musician turf politics). At night when the tapas bars are open, they roam up and down the street, playing one or two tunes at each spot and then moving on to the next. Since we live directly upstairs from two bars with outdoor seating, I can safely say that if given the choice between listening to five minutes of jack hammering versus yet another accordion rendition of “My Way,” I’d gladly choose the former.

 

 

 

 

San Isidro

Yesterday Nico's school celebrated Madrid's San Isidro Festival. All of the kids were dressed in traditional Madrileño castizo clothing which for men consists of a chulapo and for women, a chulapa. (I feel compelled to add that at least in my opinion, the chulapa, with the possible exception of  bubble skirts, is probably the most unflattering item of clothing ever to be designed in the history of mankind. With very few exceptions, any woman who dons one resembles nothing else so much as a sausage attending the a school dance with a bad case of chicken pox.)

Of course the more ridiculous you make a three-year old look, the more adorable they tend to become, so watching Nico and his classmates performing traditional dances while dressed in chulapos and chulapas was one of the cutest things I think I've ever seen. 

I made a video of Nico dancing and although I know there's a way to embed it onto this page, I'm too impatient to figure it out so you can see it here.

You can see more pictures on flickr!

 

Twin Butchers

I live in the coolest neighborhood in all of Madrid and do you want to know why? Because we have twin butchers! One of the things I like most about Madrid is that unlike in the U.S., the city is still full of tiny little individual businesses of the sort that if they were in the U.S., you´d definitely be wondering how on earth they ever stay in business. Within only two blocks of my apartment we have butchers, pollerias (butchers that ONLY sell chicken and chicken parts), fruit and veg shops, fish shops, old lady underwear shops, tobacco shops, stationary shops, hardware shops, wicker baskets for your bathroom shops, etc. Of course Madrid has larger stores as well but relatively few and for the most part, even the bigger neighborhood supermarkets are still only about the same size as a small local supermarket in the U.S.

So now not only do I have four individual butcher shops near me, but one of them is manned by twins! Not only that, they are lady twins which means that instead of wearing the traditional blood smeared apron, they sport matching frilly smocks which are much more pleasing to the eyes. They have identical haircuts and identical heavy-framed glasses. So far I have just gazed at them from afar but one of these days soon, I´ll try and get the nerve up to go in and ask for a picture.

Accordian

Many people find accordion music to be charming and romantic. I would venture to guess however, that those people do not have accordion players permanently stationed in front of their houses as we do.

The Apartment

I'm loving Madrid more and more each day and although it's been a tough month settling in, I'm finally feeling the progress. Above you can see our new apartment (the cream yellow building) which I absolutely love. Within two blocks you can find 2 butcher shops, four bakeries, 3 fruit and vegetable stores, 3 supermarkets, a video store, a stationers, a pharmacy, an electric supplies shop, a key maker/shoe repairman, a Chinese variety store, a Pizza Hut, an indoor play space for kids, an ice cream parlor, a post office, two hair salons, and several cafes and restaurants.

Those are the useful stores. We also have a store that sells only suction cup bathroom fixtures, a store that sells only lamps, a store that sells ceramic angels, a store that sells mysterious herbs... Plus, we're only 3 blocks from the Retiro Park which is sort of like Madrid's equivalent to Central Park. It's filled with foresty paths, playgrounds, a lake with boats, outdoor cafes, and even a maze! We're also within 3 blocks of 2 different metro stations and I can honestly say that I've never lived anywhere that's so conveniently located.

We definitely won't be getting a car!

The only drawback to the new apartment is that we had to buy a washing machine, an oven and a fridge. The silver lining is that for the first time in 5 years I have a fridge that is taller than I am and a freezer that hold more than a tray of ice cubes and a bag of frozen peas. For whatever reason, the Japanese and the Swiss don't appear to freeze things much and their freezers reflect this. A life without freezers is a life without casseroles and a life without casseroles is no life at all as far as I'm concerned. Finally I can get back to the cooking habits of my Mormon ancestors. There must have been something passed down in my blood that says that by the age of 32 I should have at least 6 children because no matter what I try to cook, I always wind up preparing food for at least that many.

Here is the paseo that runs down the middle of our street.

 

This is a photo of Nico's nursery school. It's located in a beautiful little neighborhood which is full of charming individual houses (very rare in Madrid) and leafy green streets. If I had money coming out of my ears and knew that we were staying here forever, this is where I'd want to buy a house.

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